To make up for my lack of blogging here is a long poem i wrote today on the plane.
Without realisation or expectation
we carved out each others names
through our own flesh
and when i asked you what this was called
you said it was not love, but just a way to pass the time
and we held each other in the
full knowing that tomorrow would
be more painful than today and that
escape is indeed fleeting as
a shooting star.
But for as long as that moment exists
in the sky it is beautiful.
Beautiful.
That word you called me.
Generally reserved for people
belonging to one another.
But i do not belong to you and
neither do you belong to me because
we found each other like stray cats
searching for food to fill the empty spaces in our chests.
And we will never belong to each other-
it is simply inconceivable.
This truth almost brings me to tears but
i could never cry over it like spilt milk.
Most days i can't decide how to feel
about it so i just push you to the back of
my mind sort of like the way you
stash your junk under your bed when you
don't want to be reminded of how
messy your life really is.
Sometimes the sincerity in your eyes
makes me forget how i'm lying to myself
and then i wish i could be content with
this half life.
And i don't want to be weak
but i don't want to be strong either
and balance was never really my thing.
So who knows
who fucking knows
whose names we really carved and
how long they will last.
The candles burning fast and we
used the last match so is this time
i need you to decide.
